Self-Compassion: An Overlooked Key in Depression Recovery
When people think about recovering from depression, they often focus on therapy or medication. While these are crucial, there’s another healing tool that doesn’t always get enough attention: self-compassion.
For people with perfectionistic tendencies, self-compassion can feel counterintuitive. Many assume it means letting yourself “off the hook.” But true self-compassion isn’t about ignoring mistakes—it’s about holding yourself accountable with kindness instead of criticism.
My Story: Learning Self-Compassion After a Mistake
Years ago, when I was teaching at a community college in Houston, I had an experience that showed me how destructive self-criticism can be—and how freeing self-compassion is.
On September 11, I was walking with a student and talking about his assignments. Without realizing it, I spoke loudly during a campus-wide moment of silence. Someone yelled at me to be quiet, and afterward a group of teachers criticized me harshly.
For months (and even years) afterward, I replayed that moment over and over, shaming myself with thoughts like:
I’m always socially awkward.
I can’t do anything right.
No wonder I struggle to keep friends.
What I didn’t know at the time was that my autism and ADHD contributed to missing social cues and getting easily distracted. But instead of showing myself grace, I fell into a spiral of shame and self-hatred.
How Self-Compassion Changed My Perspective
Later, when I began practicing self-compassion, I started reframing that memory—and my inner dialogue:
Everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect.
I wasn’t being disrespectful; I was distracted.
This mistake doesn’t define me. I am still a kind, compassionate person.
This didn’t erase accountability. I still recognized that I could have been more aware. But instead of endlessly punishing myself, I learned to accept my imperfections and move forward with kindness.
Why Self-Compassion Matters for Depression
Practicing self-compassion can make a meaningful difference in recovery from depression. Here’s how it helps:
Interrupts the shame cycle – You stop replaying mistakes and start healing.
Builds resilience – Kindness toward yourself makes setbacks easier to recover from.
Reduces depression and anxiety – Research consistently links self-compassion with better mental health (Neff, 2003).
Improves relationships – When you give yourself grace, it’s easier to extend the same to others.
A Gentle Reminder
If you’re struggling with depression and harsh self-criticism, remember: self-compassion isn’t about excusing mistakes. It’s about treating yourself like a human being—imperfect, but still worthy of love, forgiveness, and growth.
Mistakes do not erase your worth. With practice, self-compassion can become a powerful part of your healing journey.
Ready to Begin Your Healing Journey?
If you find yourself caught in cycles of shame, perfectionism, or depression, you don’t have to face it alone. I offer online counseling for adults in Texas, Florida and Arkansas, specializing in depression, anxiety, trauma, and late-diagnosed autism. Together, we can work on building self-compassion, breaking free from negative thought patterns, and moving toward a more fulfilling life.
📅 Schedule a free 15-minute consultation today and take the first step toward healing